The truth that no one told me....

The truth is I am scared. Daily, nightly, constantly I am scared. My thoughts are always consumed with you and what I am doing for you.

I am always scared that I am doing it wrong, that I am hurting you, that you aren't going to be happy.

I am always scared for how you will deal with the world, out there, beyond me. Are you strong enough? Have I helped you to know you are AMAZING, you are LOVED, you are the GREATEST person I know?

I am scared that you will hate me. That you will grow away from me.

And then today happens...you laugh, you hug, you play, you teach, and you smile ALL day....and then I know. I know for one day that you are exactly where and who you ought to be. I know you are HAPPY and that is exactly what I want, hope, and pray for you.. I am so proud of you....I just love you! I will always LOVE YOU!

A 5 year old already!?!

And he'll make you swab the deck if you say otherwise! I can't believe Brakken turned 5 last week, that clock just keeps on turning! Since Brakken is in preschool and has made a few friends we decided to do his first REAL party, Man was it ever a PARTY! "B" wanted a pirate theme so I of course got carried away with it but we had so much fun!

I sees CAPTAIN BRAKKEN before the guests arrived with his newspaper sword...Oh and the first mate Mr RYKER!

Shiver me timbers look at that crew helping their Captain open his gifts....

Isn't she a beauty of a boat(cake) settin' sails on the ocean waves...

These two look like a rough crew, poor Captain Brakken having to deal with the likes of them.
Brakken we LOVE you sooo sooo sooo much! You just keep getting better with each passing year. Thanks for being such an awesome guy! Happy Birthday!

So Grateful!

I was just looking over some of my old blog posts and listening to the music I have posted on here when an overwhelming amount of happiness and gratitude came over me. I just feel this need to say that I am so grateful to my boys....each day brings me surprise, laughter, and challenge. They give me more purpose than anything else I have in this world. I didn't always know what I wanted to do for a job when I grew up, but I did always know I wanted to be a mom. I am so happy to get to be that every single day for the rest of my life!