The truth that no one told me....

The truth is I am scared. Daily, nightly, constantly I am scared. My thoughts are always consumed with you and what I am doing for you.

I am always scared that I am doing it wrong, that I am hurting you, that you aren't going to be happy.

I am always scared for how you will deal with the world, out there, beyond me. Are you strong enough? Have I helped you to know you are AMAZING, you are LOVED, you are the GREATEST person I know?

I am scared that you will hate me. That you will grow away from me.

And then today happens...you laugh, you hug, you play, you teach, and you smile ALL day....and then I know. I know for one day that you are exactly where and who you ought to be. I know you are HAPPY and that is exactly what I want, hope, and pray for you.. I am so proud of you....I just love you! I will always LOVE YOU!

A 5 year old already!?!

And he'll make you swab the deck if you say otherwise! I can't believe Brakken turned 5 last week, that clock just keeps on turning! Since Brakken is in preschool and has made a few friends we decided to do his first REAL party, Man was it ever a PARTY! "B" wanted a pirate theme so I of course got carried away with it but we had so much fun!

I sees CAPTAIN BRAKKEN before the guests arrived with his newspaper sword...Oh and the first mate Mr RYKER!

Shiver me timbers look at that crew helping their Captain open his gifts....

Isn't she a beauty of a boat(cake) settin' sails on the ocean waves...

These two look like a rough crew, poor Captain Brakken having to deal with the likes of them.
Brakken we LOVE you sooo sooo sooo much! You just keep getting better with each passing year. Thanks for being such an awesome guy! Happy Birthday!

So Grateful!

I was just looking over some of my old blog posts and listening to the music I have posted on here when an overwhelming amount of happiness and gratitude came over me. I just feel this need to say that I am so grateful to my boys....each day brings me surprise, laughter, and challenge. They give me more purpose than anything else I have in this world. I didn't always know what I wanted to do for a job when I grew up, but I did always know I wanted to be a mom. I am so happy to get to be that every single day for the rest of my life!

Christmas Day

So Christmas morning at our house went better than I thought it would. The boys slept until almost 8:30! I think it was the sledding the day before. I woke up before them and was able to get breakfast cooking before they came out it was so nice. Here is B discovering the first present.This is a moment Erik and I will remember forever. Brakken was so excited to give Ryker his gift that he found it and had Ryker open it before Brakken opened any of his own presents. Then for the rest of the "event". Brakken made sure Ryker always had a gift to unwrap. He is such a great big brother.
Batman slippers were a HIT!
The aftermath, with the boys playing with their new loot in the background.

Samurai Sorenson hehe.....aren't his batman pajamas awesome. Burlington Coat Factory is seriously my new favorite place to shop!
Here we are at Great Grandma Arlene Sorenson's getting a little more spoiled. After we went to my grandma's and then back to home where I did absolutely nothing for the next 26 hours and then got some flu bug. So today is catch up....MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL. Hope the spirit of giving, kindness, and love stays with you everyday until next year!

Christmas Eve...

I love Christmas Eve almost as much as Christmas. My mom has always made that day a special day that has left me with wonderful childhood memories. It is filled with visits from friends, a delicious dinner, and a family home evening where we share thoughts and stories that remind us of the true meaning of this Holiday.

So most years we all gather together at her house to share the evening enjoying all that ensues....This year Erik had a great idea to go sledding. So early that day all The Hermann side cousins got together at a secret place(sorry but it is the perfect sledding mountain and no one was there) and had a morning filled with playing together and waring the kids out. They all seemed to have so much fun that I think we may do it every year.

Then it was back to the Hermann house to get ready for the feast.
This is Debbie Phillips one of our oldest family friends. Deb and her family always stop by to say hi.
Here's some of the appetizers. We devoured dinner so I failed to get any pictures.
The turkey took a while to cook so while we were waiting the Carrolls gave the boys an early Christmas present....
MARSHMELLOW GUNS!!!!! The boys had a blast having a marshmellow war with eachother....Sorry mom and dad if you are still cleaning up after them. While the boys were outside playing another guest appeared. One that was a complete surprise to us all.....

SANTA CLAUS!!!!!
The boys were so excited to see him. It really was such a treat!

After dinner and Santa left, everyone opened the traditional one gift (p.j.'s). Then we snuggled them up and loaded the car to drive home to Salt Lake. The boys were fast asleep when we got home. It was perfect!

gingerbread houses

I love Christmas for so many reasons but one of the biggest things is there are so many ideas and activities to do with the kiddos to keep them entertained and you from going crazy. Last year we made gingerbread houses at the Stocks' house so this year we invited them over to do it at ours....maybe a tradition is forming huh Brit??

So of course I did my pictures backwards I think it's my favorite game! So you get to look from end product back to beginning hehe ENJOY!

Finish Product...I just like that Ry is feeding his face still......you'll see what I mean!
Here's Ryker and Calvin building or really they are eating. Those two boys were on a sugar rush!
Brakken and Elizabeth took the house building pretty serious.
Look at Calvin's cute, full cheeks. Such a stud!
The kids were going nuts waiting for us to be set up for them to start. So silly when those cousins get together!

Happy Halloween!

I hope you all have had a fun week end. We sure have, and busy. Thursday the boys wore their costumes to preschool and had their first school Halloween party. If I can ever get the pictures off the camera I will post the pumpkins that we did Friday night. Then Saturday Utah celebrated Halloween so we went to a monster block party and then to Ogden for the traditional trick-or-treating with the Pectols, those cousins sure know how to do it right. Our house this year seemed full of superheros good and bad.
Batman visited for a bit...sorry he wouldn't take off his mask to reveal his true identity so you will have to guess.

Venom swung in..."he's a good venom, not the bad one" though...(phew!)


Here are the real superheros relaxing from their crazy superhero life. Hope you all have been good so they don't have to come get you! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!